


I'm Nothing Without You By My Side

by orphan_account



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adopted Peter Parker, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Aunt & Uncle Avengers, Aunt Natasha Romanov, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexual Tony Stark, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kid Peter Parker, M/M, Panic Attacks, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Avengers, Protective Natasha Romanov, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-29
Packaged: 2020-07-28 21:41:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20071024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Tony Stark wasn't meant to be a parent. Nothing about his lifestyle suggested that he was cut out to be one, but when one tragic event claims the lives of four people, he is forced to step up and raise Peter Parker. It was never going to be easy, but maybe, just maybe, he could overcome his own issues around parenting and the slight problems that come with being both a billionaire and Iron Man.





	1. Chapter 1

_`No one ever told me that grief felt so much like fear.’ _  
_C.S. Lewis_

27th May 2002

It was well past midnight, but Tony couldn’t sleep.

There had been a sinking feeling in his stomach all day, and even as he stared up at his bedroom ceiling surrounded by luxury and comfort, he couldn’t find the will to let himself fall asleep. He just lay there staring up at the clinical white of his ceiling, listening to the low hum of machinery around him and waiting for something. What that something was, he wasn’t sure, but until the reason for that sinking feeling revealed itself, he wasn’t going to move.

For hours, nothing happened.

Just as Tony’s dark gaze began to close slowly as exhaustion overcame him, a silky, soft British voice echoed through his room, startling him back to consciousness. His eyes snapped wide open, and he looked up as Jarvis began to speak to him, bringing the news that he had been waiting to hear.

Well, he’d been expecting to hear.

He didn’t want to hear it at all.

“Mr Stark, there is an urgent call for you to answer, immediately, sir.” Jarvis’ calm tone was a vast contrast the erratic beat of his heart as Tony struggled to sit up.

“Patch me through, Jarvis,” Tony mumbled, rubbing at his eyes.

_“Mr Anthony Stark?”_

An uncertain and unfamiliar voice echoed through Tony’s room, flooding his ears and reverberating around him. The woman’s voice shook as she spoke, and even in his exhausted state, Tony couldn’t help but feel a shiver pass through him. He couldn’t help but get the feeling that whatever she had to say to him wouldn’t be something he wanted to hear.

“Yes?” Tony mumbled.

_“Mr Stark, thank goodness. I’m Isabelle Reed. I work for New York City Social Services.”_ The woman responded, shaking off some of her fear, though Tony could still hear the slightest tremble of pain.

“Do I donate to you?” Tony drawled, not wanting to beat around the bush.

  
_“No, Mr Stark, but that isn’t the reason for my phone call.”_

“I doubt that.”

The woman cleared her throat and hesitated a moment before letting out a small, sad sigh and asking:_ “Mr Stark, is it true that you have shared a close friendship with Richard Parker?”_

Tony’s eyes snapped open. His heart hammered in his chest, and he couldn’t stop his thoughts edging towards the worst possible scenario, but he refused to let himself think about that. There had to be a logical explanation that wasn’t that drastic, and he found himself straightening up as he asked: “Why would Richard be in trouble with NYC Social Services?”

Silence followed.

It was as if Isabelle was lost for words and Tony could practically see her opening and closing her mouth time and time again as she tried to find the right words.

_“Oh, you haven’t heard? Oh, Mr Stark, erm, well you see -”_

“Just spit it out.”

Tony couldn’t wait any longer.

He needed to know.

_“Richard and his wife Mary along with his brother and sister-in-law were in an accident earlier this evening,”_ Isabelle replied, her words rushed and her tone laced with sorrow.

“And?” Tony asked quietly, already knowing what he was about to hear, but he needed Isabelle to tell him. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to accept the truth until he heard it, and the longer he had to wait, the less likely he was to believe it. He needed Isabelle to be frank with him, right there and then.

_“I’m sorry to inform you that none of them made it. They were all killed on impact.”_ Isabelle stated softly, trying to reduce the blow, but she ultimately decided that she was only being cruel by beating around the bush. With a soft sigh, Isabelle stated more firmly: _“Richard and Mary Parker are dead, Mr Stark, as are May and Ben Parker.”_

Tony’s heart stopped, and his mind went still. He stopped moving. Every single nerve in his body went numb and his throat constricted while his eyes burned with tears he needed to shed. He blinked over and over again, trying to wrap his mind around it, but he couldn’t quite comprehend it.

This was all a bad dream.

Wasn’t it?

“Thank you for letting me know -”

_“As you are their next of kin you would be the obvious guardians of their son, Peter.”_ Isabelle cut him off, barely letting the shock to sin in before dropping another bomb into Tony’s lap and reminding Tony of the eight-month-old boy that he had promised to look after.

“Peter? Their baby? He survived?” Tony asked, praying for a glimmer of hope, or at least something that he could hold onto. In that one moment, he just needed Peter to be alive.

Isabelle cleared her throat again, bringing Tony back to the present and offering him that ray of hope he needed when she informed him: “_He wasn’t in the accident - he was with a childminder, and well, we need to work towards finding him a new family and as his Godfather, you have a say in where he ends up.”_

Once again, Tony’s heart stopped. He’d never assumed that one day he’d be the one having to decide what happened to Peter. He never thought this would be his responsibility. This wasn’t meant to be his responsibility. Peter was meant to have two parents and his aunt and uncle as well as a genius godfather who occasionally visited to fill in as the insane uncle. This wasn’t meant to happen.

“Oh, right. Is there any chance that I can have some time to think about this?” Tony eventually asked, running his hands over his face and through his hair.

_“Of course, Mr Stark, but I urge you to hurry. Peter needs a family.”_

“As soon as I have come to a decision, I will let you know.”

_“Thank you, Mr Stark, and I am sorry for your loss.”_ Isabelle sighed, her tone light and gentle, knowing that no matter how much of an arsehole Tony presented himself as, he still had just lost someone. With a moment’s hesitation, she finally asked: _“Is there anything I can do to help you with your decision or with any arrangements you have to make?”_

Tony stopped for a moment. Glancing down at his hands, he watched them shake for a few seconds before he looked up at the blank wall facing him. He stared up at the ceiling, his eyes red and brimming with tears. His voice shook, and his throat tightened as he finally mumbled: “Just look after Peter- he needs to be cared for.”

_“Yes, Mr Stark.”_

The line cut off and silence descended, leaving Tony utterly alone. The silence cut into him, clawing at his skin and reminding him how truly alone he was now. He’d lost everything. It had been taken from him, and the worse thing was that when it had been, he hadn’t known or even thought to address the feeling that had been haunting him all day. He’d ignored it all, and now he was paying the price.

“Why?”

The strangled cry reverberated around Tony, sounding almost foreign to him. Even his voice didn’t sound right. His throat was too tight, and when the tears began to fall softly, Tony let them. He buried his face in his hands, allowing himself to sob.

Nothing could console him.

Nothing could ever take away the pain,

He had nothing now.

…

The morning was a harsh affair, to say the least. The sunlight was too harsh, and the air was too heavy. Every single bone in Tony’s body felt heavy, and each thud of his heart sent pain coursing through him. Every movement took far more effort than it should have. He felt like an empty shell; part of his world was missing, and he couldn’t bring it back no matter what he tried. No money in the world could bring back what he’d lost.

Tony’s body felt like lead, and every step took a century. Time had slowed completely. Every second was a century, and every hour was an eternity of numbness that he couldn’t bear. His heart felt heavy in his chest, and he knew that he looked dishevelled and gaunt without so much as glancing in a reflective display. He knew that he looked like a train wreck, but he didn’t care.

Not anymore.

Slumping down slowly in his living room overlooking Malibu and staring out blankly, his eyes glazed over. If his throat hadn’t felt like coarse sandpaper, he would have asked Jarvis to get him a drink, but he didn’t have the willpower to ask. He had no energy.

“Mr Stark? Are you alright?”

The voice of Pepper Potts floated through the mansion, echoing through Tony’s ears and accompanied as always by the sound of her high heels clicking as she walked towards him. She cocked her head to the side and took a long look at Tony’s slumped form before her pace quickened. She needed to make sure he was alright.

After what felt like forever, she finally found herself facing Tony; her face fell completely. He looked broken. She wasn’t quite sure what she was seeing, but it wasn’t her boss. The man before her was a shell of the billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist that she knew all too well. She didn’t recognise the man before her in any way at all.

“Pep, sit down, sit down.” Tony eventually croaked out, waving to the seat beside him.

“Are you alright, Mr Stark?” Pepper asked, her voice void of any criticism, and she gently sat down as ordered before stating as calmly as possible: “You look as if you haven’t slept at all.”

Gulping slowly, Tony met her gaze for a brief moment before stating emotionlessly: “Richard and Mary Parker are dead.”

“Oh, my God.”

“As are May and Ben Parker.” Tony continued, his voice still croaky and even to him, his voice sounded strained and foreign.

Pepper’s usually calm and collected appearance shattered instantly, revealing the pure horror and sorrow in her blue gaze that chilled Tony’s blood as she cried: “What? No! How could this happen?”

“Car crash last night,” Tony mumbled, reaching over and gently taking Pepper’s hand, needing to feel comfort and knowing full well that she needed it too.

For a few moments, both fell silent, fighting back to hold back tears and choking back sobs; the only indication of their pain was when one squeezed the other’s hand. They stayed like that never quite looking at one another. Neither could stand seeing the pain in the other’s gaze.

“And little Peter?” Pepper finally asked, glancing over at Tony and quietly adding: “Is he alive? Is he safe?”

Tony looked away from her, releasing Pepper’s hand and running his hand through his dishevelled hair. Taking a sharp breath, Tony muttered: “He is alive and with NYC social services.”

Pepper’s face glimmered with a spark of joy for a few moments before Tony’s words and tone truly sunk in, and she found herself stating: “I’m sensing a but somewhere.”

“I have to decide what happens to him next since I’m his Godfather,” Tony confessed, glancing over at the woman beside him and gulping at her. He swallowed slowly, not quite meeting Pepper’s gaze for a long moment before slowly lifting his dark gaze back to her crystalline blue eyes and in a hushed terrified whisper, he professed: “I don’t know what to do, Pep.”

Pepper stared at him for what felt like an eternity before finally opening her mouth but swiftly closed it again. Her mind was turning, and each time she thought of a possible solution, she couldn’t quite manage to speak before she found a major flaw with it. Several times she opened and closed her mouth but to no avail. There was no easy solution to this. There was nothing she could advise him to do other than ignore the problem until it went away and perhaps visit Peter every blue moon.

Swallowing, Pepper started to stutter: “Mr Stark… Tony… I am not sure there is much you can do other than ensure that he finds a good family who will look after him and care for him.”

Tony couldn’t help but scoff at Pepper’s suggestion, but he conceded that he should have expected it. Pepper was merely suggesting the sensible option. He knew deep down that he needed to listen to her, but he just couldn’t; he couldn’t just brush this under the carpet, he wouldn’t do that to Peter.

“That’s the problem - I’m not sure if I can do that. He is my Godson, and he is family. I don’t think I could let him just go to another family that I know nothing about.” Tony asserted, finally meeting Pepper’s gaze, his dark gaze determined, and his mind was clear. “I’m going to raise the kid.”

And with that, he stood up and left Pepper staring after him wondering what was going to happen next.

…

Tony eventually found himself down in his workshop and began to fiddle with one of the many circuits lying about on his desk absentmindedly. Without even looking at what he was doing, his hands naturally found themselves rewiring the circuitry correctly as his eyes scanned over all of his projects. Circuit boards lay across every surface. Robotic arms stuck out at odd angles. Cars lined the room, some intact; others half dismantled. The whole place was a mess with wires, tools and strips of metal. In the corners, Dum-E and U waited for instructions, and despite the chaotic nature of his surroundings, Tony couldn’t help but feel at home. Here he could be unapologetically himself.

However, his peace wasn’t to last.

“Mr Stark, Mr Stane and Colonel Rhodes have arrived and are waiting for you. Should I tell them that you will be there in a moment?”

The sound of Jarvis’ smooth voice echoed through the workshop and although usually, Tony welcomed the sound of his AI, but right now, he couldn’t help but scowl. The last thing he needed was to deal with Obadiah. Rhodey he could stand and would be happy to talk to, but not Stane. He didn’t want to have another lecture, but he was positive that he would get one.

“What the fuck are they doing here?” Tony voiced allowed, setting down the circuit gently.

“I believe Miss Potts called them,” Jarvis replied coolly, only adding to Tony’s growing malcontent.

Sighing heavily, Tony screwed up his eyes and ran his hands through his hair, shaking his head as he ground out bitterly: “That would explain it.”

For a long moment, Tony didn’t move, keeping his eyes shut and trying to control his breathing as he attempted to formulate a plan. He had no idea what he wanted to do. Part of him wanted to ignore both Obadiah and Rhodey; part of him knew that he had to face at least once before he went to pick Peter.

“Mr Stark, sir, are you going to see them?” Jarvis asked, shattering Tony’s thoughts and bringing him back to reality.

“Erm, yes, tell them I’ll be there when I can,” Tony stated before he could change his mind. Deep down, he knew that either way he was going to have to see them, so it might have well have been now.

“Very good, Mr Stark, but I should warn you, Mr Stane is growing impatient,” Jarvis warned, all too used to the way that Obadiah could lash out. Then again, anyone who had met Obadiah could attest to the way that he lost his temper, and Tony knew better than to keep the older man waiting for too long.

Sighing once more, Tony finally opened his eyes and glanced towards the door, mumbling to himself: “Let’s get this over with.”

“Very good, sir.”

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, Tony straightened his crumpled Black Sabbath t-shirt and headed towards the door. Just as he was about to turn back, he glanced over his shoulder and caught sight of a single framed picture on his desk. Smiling back at him were Richard, Mary, May and Ben who stood either side of him as he held a little bundle tightly, protectively: that bundle was little Peter. Tony’s eyes filled with pain at the mere sight of it, but at the same time, it only served to strengthen his resolve. He was going to raise Peter. He didn’t care what Obadiah, Pepper and Rhodey wanted; he was going to look after his Godson.

With that thought in mind, Tony turned sharply on his heel and headed towards the stairs. As he did, he began readying himself for what was about to happen. His jaw was clenched, and his shoulders set. He had a spark in his eyes that most would recoil from, and he was more determined than ever. Hidden in the corner of his gaze was a flicker of fear at the thought of what might happen next.

…

Obadiah Stane and James Rhodes couldn’t have been more different. Obadiah was grasping, wealthy and had less empathy than a lettuce leaf. Rhodey, on the other hand, was calm, collected and loyal. Neither of them would have chosen to confide in the other or be in each other’s presence, but when Tony was involved, they could push aside their differences for a few hours especially if business was concerned.

Neither spoke a word. Rhodey sat, stoic and silent while Obidiah paced, impatient and sour-faced. From a safe place, slightly concealed by a wall, Pepper watched nervously, cradling a cup of steaming hot coffee to hand to Tony when he finally arrived.

“Tony! There you are!” Obadiah called out the moment he caught sight of the sleep-deprived billionaire who was shuffling towards them.

Nodding at Obadiah and then Rhodey, Tony glanced around until his gaze fell upon Pepper and he found himself asking: “Coffee?”

There was no way in hell that Tony was going to endure this conversation without coffee. His brain needed to be functioning before he dealt with Obadiah. He couldn’t afford to let his guard down. Even Rhodey would be able to pick up on his weaknesses, and Tony wasn’t going to allow that to happen.

“Here you go, Mr Stark.” Pepper smiled, handing Tony the coffee cup and adding in a low voice: “You should listen to what they have to say.”

Taking a sip of the burning hot liquid, Tony found himself straightening up and dismissing Pepper: “Thank you, Miss Potts, you may go now.”

“Yes, Mr Stark.”

Pepper glanced over at the other two men, and with one long sigh, she began to slowly make her retreat, her heels clicking as she walked away from them. Eyes followed her until she finally vanished from sight. Only then did both Obadiah and Rhodey turn to face Tony.

“So, what’s happened? Found a flaw in our manufacturing? Miss Potts told us something important had come up that we all needed to discuss.” Obadiah uttered, stopping his pacing just before Tony so that he towered over the younger man as Rhodey watched cautiously.

Noticing how Tony tensed slightly, Rhodey spoke up, bringing Obadiah’s attention away from Tony as he asked: “Or do you need more time to produce what’s been promised? This is about business, right?”

“No, it isn’t.” Tony sighed heavily, “sit down, Obadiah.”

“Tones, what’s happened?” Rhodey asked, edging away from Obadiah and cocking his head to the side as he took one good look at Tony.

Running a hand through his hair, Tony looked over at Rhodey and kept his gaze focused on his friend and not his colleague. Taking in a sharp breath, Tony asked: “You remember I had a very close friend at MIT who was my advisor until his wife had a child?”

“Richard Parker? Yes, I remember him. Why is he in trouble?” Rhodey nodded, moving forward and looking up at Tony, not sure if he wanted to know what Tony was about to tell them.

Before Tony could even open his mouth, Obadiah cut in: “Has he said something about our company?”

“He’s dead.”

Rhodey and Obadiah stopped moving. Their breath caught in their throats and they found themselves staring up at Tony in disbelief and in Rhodey’s case, sympathy. Neither of them could find the right words and even Tony couldn’t speak for a moment. He just kept staring at Rhodey and avoiding Obadiah’s gaze.

Clearing his throat, Tony finally found his voice and in a hollow whisper informed them: “He was killed last night in an accident along with his wife, brother and sister in law leaving behind an eight-month-old son - my Godson.”

“I’m so sorry, Tony.” Rhodey finally managed to murmur, placing a gentle hand on Tony’s shoulder as he rose to his feet, wanting to offer some flicker of comfort.

Tony offered Rhodey a small weak smile that looked more like a grimace than anything else before he mumbled glumly: “And now, I have to sort out Peter’s affairs and have to decide what’s going to happen to him.”

“I don’t see why the child is a problem - just stick him with a good family and be done with it,” Obadiah spoke up from his spot in the shadows, glowering over at Tony and Rhodey.

The two younger men turned to Stane, both with narrowed gazes. Rhodey looked disgruntled at Stane, knowing that Obadiah’s attitude wasn’t going to help. Tony, on the other hand, looked like a cross between murderous and heartbroken. He was steadily edging towards the former.

“Could you try to exercise your limited empathy for the boy?” Tony snapped.

“You couldn’t look after a child and isn’t it just cruel to keep the boy without any parental figures?” Obadiah countered, standing up and making a move to cross over towards Tony.

“He will have a parental figure!” Tony growled, “he’ll have me!”

Obadiah shook his head, a cruel chuckle leaving his lips before he rounded on Tony once more: “Oh will he? You can barely look after yourself, let alone a baby. You’d be the worst thing that could ever happen to that kid, and you know full well that I’m right.”

Clenching his fists tightly, Tony found himself barely managing to contain his rage and at that moment, if there had been any doubt in his mind, it faded instantly. He was going to raise Peter Parker. Tony was going to make sure that Peter had a good childhood and a good life. He wasn’t going to be like Obadiah or his father.

“You might think that Obadiah, but it isn’t up to you.” Tony countered, meeting Obadiah’s gaze.

“Tony…” Rhodey started to speak softly.

“No, this isn’t up to either of you. Peter is going to grow up here, and I will look after him. I will be a better father than the one that I had, and neither of you is going to dictate that. If you have a problem with the kid, then you can leave now.” Tony snapped, glowering at each of them, letting his anger get the better of him slightly, but as he managed to control it, he noted that neither had made a move to leave. He waited for a few more seconds before adding: “Well, that settles it. I’m going to go and get the kid.”

And with that, he stalked out of the room. His head was clear, and his plan fixed. He was going to do this, and anyone who said otherwise could fuck off. He was going to do the right thing for once in his life. With that firmly in his mind, Tony headed towards where Happy was waiting for him.


	2. Chapter 2

_'Proof that Tony Stark has a Heart.'_

Night had long since set in when Tony and Happy arrived in New York City, but the city was as busy as ever. The air was heavy, and the streets packed as the slick black Audi glided across the smooth tarmac of the roads. People bustled around despite the wind and the rain, packed in together. They thronged around, not caring that others in the same city were suffering while they got on with their daily lives. Screens and billboards blinded them from reality. A day ago, Tony would have been one of those people. Oblivious to the world around him and the suffering of others. But that blissful ignorance had been shattered.

"Tony?"

Happy's voice cut through Tony's thought, wrenching him out of his reverie. Tony glanced over at Happy from his place in the backseat where he had been sat silently for hours. His eyes briefly met Happy's in the mirror before he looked away. He couldn't stand to look anyone in the eye.

"Sorry, Hap, I didn't hear you. Could you repeat what you said?" Tony mumbled, his throat constricting as he spoke and his eyes flashing with pain as they grazed over a sign he hadn't seen in years.

'_Welcome to Queens.'_

Tony's heart clenched at the sight, and his throat closed entirely for a moment. He couldn't breathe. There were too many painful memories associated with that sign. He couldn't look at it without being reminded of all he had lost in the twenty-four hours.

"I asked you if you were okay, but I know the answer to that, Boss." Happy sighed, glancing back at Tony and asking softly: "Do you want to talk about it?"

"What's the point? It won't solve anything." Tony mumbled, rubbing at his temples before leaning against the window.

Happy glanced back at his boss, sighing heavily at him. He was used to Tony acting like this, but for once, he found himself speaking up. "You're going to have to talk to Peter. You're going to have to explain to him and listen to him. You need to do that for him." Happy informed Tony, "and he'll do the same for you."

For a long moment, Tony stared at Happy, processing what he had just heard before he turned his head to look outside once more. His gaze scanned over the surrounding area; his expression unguarded and broken, for once displaying his pain.

"Do you think I'm going to fuck this up?"

"Everyone who goes into parenthood thinks that they will fuck up." Happy replied softly.

"Happy, answer the question." Tony snapped back, needing an answer.

Glancing back over at Tony, Happy sighed heavily and finally responded: "I think that you will be a good father, Tony, but I also think that you're going to make mistakes. Every father does, no matter who they are, but you will be there for him at least. He will have a father. Someone who tucks him into bed every night and be there when he's ill and who tells him that he loves him every day."

Staring over at Happy, Tony found himself asking: "And what if I don't love the kid?"

"Tony, you wouldn't be doing this if you didn't love the kid." Happy pointed out, sensing Tony's need to be reassured that he was doing the right thing.

"How are you so sure of that?"

"Because I saw your face when you first held Peter." Happy reminded him, "I watched you call Richard and Mary and watch the videos of Peter. I watched you start to change and visit more regularly. I watched you heal because of this baby. Peter is going to be a good kid, and he is going to be your good kid because you love him."

"I'm afraid," Tony confessed quietly.

"I'd be concerned if you weren't." Happy stated, glancing over his shoulder at his boss, his eyes softening and a gentle, reassuring smile on his lips.

"What if I'm bad for him?" Tony's voice cracked a little as he spoke.

"You have to take it day by day. You have to put him before you." Happy pointed out, slowly pulling up in front of an austere building. Turning around in his seat, Happy added: "And you will. You know, deep down, you will. You want to help Peter, and that in itself will be what makes you a good father."

"Thank you, Happy," Tony mumbled sincerely, glancing down at his hands and taking in a slow, steady breath, trying to calm his nerves.

"You're welcome, Boss." Happy nodded at him, and when he didn't see Tony move, he added: "We're here."

Sighing heavily, Tony nodded and moved to open the door into the quiet street. There were barely any lights on, save for that of the Queens Social Services. The entire neighbourhood felt hollow and deserted. The road was still damp, and there was water dripping from pipes and railings. Everything about the area felt loveless and cold. The thought of it sent shivers through Tony's spine and only furthered to strengthen his resolve to get Peter out of this neighbourhood.

…

Just like the outside, Queens Social Services was dull and without any decorations insight. The floors were covered in a frayed dark blue and grey carpet while the walls were a soft grey. The neon lights were too bright and too far apart, leaving some patches in blinding white light and others in almost darkness. The main reception had toys scattered all over the floor that looked to be decades old. Plastic chairs lined the room and were too small for an adult to sit on comfortably. Everything about the place made Tony's insides curl.

Sighing heavily, Tony took several steps towards the main desk, rubbing his hands on his slacks and looking over at the stony-faced Receptionist. The man behind the counter looked Tony up and down, his eyes narrowed and critical as he looked Tony up and down.

"Can I help you?" The Receptionist drawled, his eyes narrowed.

"Erm, I'm looking for Ms Reed?" Tony mumbled, slightly uncertain, his eyes darting around the room, not sure where to look.

"Do you have an appointment?" The Receptionist asked, fixing Tony with a bored stare.

Tony wrung his hands nervously and stuttered: "E-erm I-I'm h-here about Peter Parker." Clearing his throat, he added quickly: "I wasn't aware that I needed an appointment."

The Receptionist scrutinised Tony, sure that he had seen the billionaire's face before and looking over at him with an air of arrogance. Everything about the look he gave Tony suggested that he didn't think that Tony was suitable to look after himself let alone a child. His judgement was evident. 

"Well, just give me your name, and I will call you over when she is available." The Receptionist stated in his lazy drawl, his disapproving look only intensifying.

"Erm, Anthony Stark," Tony replied, almost unsure of his name.

"Very well, Mr Stark, take a seat."

Nodding, Tony backed away quickly, not wanting to be anywhere near the main desk and he walked briskly to the very back corner of the empty waiting room. Sitting down on one of the small seats, Tony glanced around the room, trying to find something to focus on. He couldn't stand how dull the place was. Yet, as he turned his head again, his eyes caught sight of a splash of colour against the grey walls. The sight of several small handprints met his gaze, and for the first time since he had entered the building, Tony smiled.

The handprints ranged tiny to large as if both the children and the social workers had made them together. That thought made Tony smile. He couldn't help but wonder whether it would be something that he and Peter would end up doing one day. 

Tony was so lost in thought that he didn't notice a greying woman entering the room. He was so absorbed in his thoughts that it was only when Isabelle called: "Mr Stark?", that he became aware of his surroundings.

"That's me," Tony responded, standing up and smiling nervously over at the other person before following her out of the room, still painfully aware that the Receptionist was still watching him. He straightened his back and held his head high, trying to stop himself from shaking as he walked. He was going to do this, no matter what. He was going to get through this and fuck anyone who said differently.

…

Isabelle Reed's office was very modest, to say the least. A small window overlooked the rain covered street, and a small desk with two chairs on one side and one on the other sat just in front of it. A tiny bookshelf was shoved in a corner. The computer on her desk looked as if it hadn't been upgraded in centuries. The carpet was stained, and the weak glow from the fluorescent light above only highlighted the cramped conditions and unadorned room.

"Have a seat, Mr Stark." Isabelle waved at one of the two seats in front of the desk as she moved to sit in her chair, facing him.

"Thank you."

Taking his seat, Tony took his first long at her. She was tall, taller than him and held herself with a silent grace that Tony had only ever noticed in women like Pepper. Her long dark auburn hair was streaked with grey, and her baby blue eyes looked faded and tired. Her grey suit was tired and well worn too and looked as if it had been mended several times. Everything about her was both polished and slightly worn.

"First, I wanted to thank you for stopping by so soon. I trust you came to a decision." Isabelle cocked her head to the side, eyeing Tony suspiciously.

"I did." Tony nodded, knowing full well that Isabelle wasn't going to be overly fond of his decision. After all, no one else had been.

"So what's going to happen to Peter now?" Isabelle prompted, leaning forward and locking her gaze with Tony's eyes and not letting him look away from her. Then again, there was so little in the office for him to focus on that he couldn't have looked away if he wanted to.

Taking in a deep breath, Tony willed himself to stay calm and collected before stating: "I'm going to adopt Peter or become his legal guardian, whichever is the correct term."

"Are you sure, Mr Stark?"

Isabelle gave Tony a look that he was all too familiar with. She didn't think he could do this. Everyone, with the exception of Happy, didn't think he could do this. Isabelle looked just as disbelieving as the rest of them and Tony found himself having to take another deep breath before responding.

"I'm aware of what I am getting into, Ms Reed." Tony informed her calmly, "I have never wanted to bring a child into the world, but there is no reason that I can't love one and raise one who is already here and who needs a parent."

"It won't be easy." Isabelle pointed out.

"Life rarely is." Tony countered, folding his arms.

"Peter will need your utter devotion." Isabelle reminded him, sitting up straight and crossing her arms as well, matching the fierce look in Tony's eyes.

"And he will have it," Tony assured her, knowing full well that he was going to make sure that Peter felt the love that he never received from his father. He was going to make sure that Peter had his full devotion and he wasn't going to let anyone tell him otherwise.

Isabelle looked at him closely for a few moments trying to think of a response. No matter how much she wanted to deny it, she could tell that Tony did want to help Peter. Part of her wanted to say that he couldn't, but the more she thought about it, the more she found herself agreeing with Tony. After all, Tony was the one that Richard and Mary had nominated to look after Peter if anything happened to them and if May and Ben couldn't look after him.

Eventually, with a heavy sigh, Isabelle nodded and smiled: "I shall go and get the forms, and once everything is legalised, I will bring Peter to you."

"Thank you."

Tony watched Isabelle leave and found himself relaxing into his chair for a moment, his heart still hammering against his ribs. He had done it. He was going to be able to make Peter's life better. Tony couldn't help but smile at the idea and found himself letting out a sigh of relief.

The door opened much sooner than Tony expected and Isabelle stepped back inside, holding a small bundle in her arms. Smiling over at Tony, she handed Peter to him whispering: "Here, I will give you a few moments with him as I go and get the paperwork."

"Thank you." Tony smiled up at her, watching her leave again before looking down at Peter.

Looking down at Peter, Tony found himself muttering: "I forgot how small you are." 

In his arms, fast asleep, Peter smiled, clutching onto his blankets. Dark brown hair curled around his forehead and his usually bright brown eyes were closed. He had always been on the small side. In Tony's arms, he looked even smaller and impossibly fragile. Every cell in Tony's body screamed for him to protect Peter with his life.

Smiling down at him softly, Tony mumbled: "Hello, Pete. It's Tony, well, I guess I'm Dad now, I think. You probably can't hear me. Looks like you're having a great dream. Wish I could have that." 

Peter didn't respond, not that Tony was expecting him to, but after a few moments, Peter rolled in his blankets towards Tony as the billionaire whispered: "I'm not sure I'll be very good at this, but I'm going to try for you, I promise." 

…

By the time that Tony had signed all the documents and been given Peter's essentials and made arrangements for the rest of his belongings to be shipped to the mansion, he was exhausted. All he wanted to do was sleep. He just wanted to put all of his stress behind him and relax into his new life. Stepping out of the building, Tony gently carried Peter in his car seat towards the black Audi.

"Keep the radio off, Happy. Peter's sleeping." Tony spoke softly, not wanting to wake Peter when he looked so peaceful, and Tony didn't want to ruin that in any way.

"Yes, Boss." Happy nodded in the same hushed whisper that Tony had spoken in. 

He watched silently as Tony strapped Peter's car seat into the back seat, securing it and making sure that Peter was still fast asleep before closing the door gently. Happy found himself transfixed at Tony's tenderness. He couldn't help but smile in spite of himself until Tony finally walked around and came to sit back in his usual seat. With that, Happy turned away and began to start the car.

The hum of the car was like a lullaby for Tony, and he found himself beginning to drift off when he felt a small hand resting on his hand. Opening his bleary eyes, Tony noticed that his hand had come to rest on Peter's car seat and the little boy had placed his hand over Tony's. Slowly, Peter began to wrap his fingers around one of Tony's. A smile graced Tony's lips instantly. 

"You're so small." Tony marvelled quietly, unable to hide his grin.

Peter rolled slightly, towards Tony, cooing quietly in his sleep. Both Tony and Peter smiled at one another, and Tony found himself resting his head on Peter's car seat. Peter's grip tightened slightly. His tiny fingers kept Tony close to him as the billionaire began to close his eyes. With the safe hum of the mechanical lullaby and the feeling of Peter holding onto him, Tony let his guard fall and let sleep take him. And that was how they remained when Happy glanced over his shoulder to check on them both.

They were safe.

They were a family.


	3. Chapter 3

_'They say you die twice. _

_One time when you stop breathing, and _

_a second time, a bit later on when somebody _

_says your name for the last time.'_

3rd June 2002

The morning of the funeral of the Parker Family was dark, stormy and cold. Rain pounded the ground mercilessly while thunder rumbled overhead and lightning danced in the sky. The sky mourned, and the earth opened up in agony. Queens Cemetery was the epicentre of all this agony and where the storm was most violent. The mere fury of the storm had driven almost all of those who were meant to be there. Instead, now, there were just five people gathered by the gravesides of Richard, Mary, Ben and May.

Standing by the graves together were Pepper Potts and Happy Hogan along with Reverend Morales. Each of them was clad in black with their heads bowed and their eyes downcast. Happy held a large umbrella in a shaky hand covering both Pepper and Reverend Morales from the stormy weather. Each of them stared down pitifully at the sight of the four open graves, but none of them could share the pain of the two figures across from them.

Drenched in black and rain, just across from the other three adults stood Tony with his arms tightly around the small form of Peter. Protecting the little child with his warmth and with a black umbrella that was as dark as the sky, he looked on with a grim expression. No tears escaped his dark gaze. Tony stood there, solemn and sombre with a stony expression.

The rain was so harsh and violent that Tony couldn't make out anything the priest was saying and in many ways that was a blessing. He didn't need to hear the insincere words of a man who didn't know nor care for his loved ones. All he needed was to be there. And besides, even if he had heard the words, he doubted he would have listened to them.

Instead, his gaze remained fixed on the four black coffins that had been lowered into the group before him. Both May and Mary had been so small and slight, and the size of their coffins reflected that. Even the caskets of Richard and Ben seemed too small to be real. He wanted to deny that this was real. He wanted to believe that he wasn't standing above the graves of the Parkers. He wanted to reverse time and alter the past.

But even he couldn't do that.

Tony only moved when it came time for came for him to throw a handful of dirt and a rose into each grave. And when that time came, the lightning began to dance at a much faster, more fearsome pace. He silently handed Peter over to Pepper, offering her a small nod before shedding his black glove.

Lightning struck as the dirt landed on Mary and Richard's coffins, illuminating the sky and the pain in Tony's face. His eyes were clouded with fear and agony. His face, although guarded, was cracked with pain and sorrow that wouldn't fade no matter how much time passed.

Another flash tore apart the sky when Tony repeated the action towards May and Richard before calming slowly as the roses rained down over them. Red and white petals stained the black and grey of the coffins. They added a glimmer of hope to this deary desolate day; the same colours that were reflected in Peter's face. The little boy was after all the only one who could offer a spark of joy in for those remaining at the Parker's side.

The last Parker.

The last glimmer of hope.

Tony gently took Peter back into his arms, holding him close to his chest as he watched the Reverend step forward once more. His eyes ran over Tony's face once before they returned to the four graves before them and for the first time, the thunder paused just long enough for six words to echo through the grounds. Six words that Tony had heard too many times.

"Dust to dust, ashes to ashes."

…

After the funeral, Tony found himself sulking in a dark corner by the bar in the hotel. In front of him lay an untouched scotch. Even though he desperately wanted to take a drink, he couldn't bring himself to do so. Instead, he just stared at the glass, his gaze unseeing. His mind was a million miles away. He couldn't hear nor see anything around him and didn't notice everyone else fizzling out of the room until he was the only person left.

Hours of silence passed by until finally, one voice pulled him out of his thoughts with one wavering word that hung in the air, following a familiar sound of clicking heels.

"Tony?"

"Hmm?"

Sitting down beside him, Pepper gently placed a hand on his forearm and asked quietly, in a timid whisper: "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just buried my friends and half of my heart," Tony replied, unable to hide the tremor in his voice and he glanced up at Pepper with a forlorn and broken gaze. The look in his eyes and the tone of his voice was enough to shatter Pepper's already torn heart.

"I'm so sorry, Tony, I really am," Pepper whispered, finally breaking all protocol and wrapping her arms around him, offering him the comfort that he needed. She held him gently and allowed him to cry if he needed to, but no tears came. Tony couldn't let himself cry. Not now.

"I know you are, Pep." Tony muttered, and offered her a weak smile before adding softly: "Thank you for keeping everyone away."

Pepper took one long look at Tony, her heart going out for him, and she found herself gently whispering: "Of course, Tony. No one deserves that sort of disrespect. Besides, I knew that you needed time to say goodbye."

Nodding in agreement, Tony found himself pulling away from Pepper and his eyes drifted upwards. He wrung his hands as he closed his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. Eventually, Tony opened his eyes, and he found himself asking: "How am I ever going to tell Peter?"

"When the time is right, you will be able to," Pepper responded, knowing full well that there was no other response she could give to him. There was never going to be a right way to answer; there were no rules to follow with this, not any more.

"How will I know when the time is right?" Tony questioned, fixing his gaze on Pepper, desperate to know what to do. He needed to do the right thing. He wanted to make sure that he wouldn't fail Richard and Mary.

"You just will." 

"Thank you, Pep."

Pepper nodded, and gently rose, knowing that Tony didn't need her company anymore. He needed to be alone with his thoughts. With one last fond look, Pepper retreated slowly, knowing full well that in a couple of hours she'd find Tony in his room with Peter fast asleep on his chest. After all, that was how she had found him for the past week. Pepper couldn't help but smile at that thought. With that still in mind, she left Tony alone again.

After all, he wouldn't be alone for long.

…

By the time Tony headed through into his room, where Happy and Peter were waiting, night had long since sealed its grasp on the city. Stars twinkled overhead while the sliver of the moon shone weakly, blocked out by the streetlights. Tony couldn't help but wish for his home back in Malibu. He missed the relative peace of Malibu. 

Quietly pushing open the door to his suite, Tony noticed that Happy was already passed out on one of the beds right next to Peter's cot. He looked so relaxed for once, and Tony couldn't hold back the small smile that found its way onto his lips at the sight. But, he soon looked away from Happy.

Instead, his dark gaze fell onto Peter, who lay there, sleeping silently in his cot, clutching onto a blanket. Tony's smile widened. He couldn't stop himself from looking fondly over at his son, and he soon crossed the room to lift Peter into his arms gently. The little boy instantly latched onto his father, clinging to him like the little spider monkey he was, and Tony found himself letting out a soft chuckle.

"Hey, Pete, Buddy." Tony cooed quietly, not wanting to wake either Peter or Happy as he headed towards his room with Peter. Keeping a secure hold on Peter, Tony found himself starting to ramble. He knew that Peter wouldn't hear or likely understand, but he couldn't stop himself.

"I know you can't hear me, but I don't mind. I love you so much, Buddy." Tony whispered, "I really do, I promise." 

Peter smiled in his sleep, moving closer to Tony instinctively before remaining still as Tony watched him silently. Only when he was sure that Peter was still fast asleep, Tony added: "And we're going to make Richard and Mary proud, I know we are. Together."

Drifting over to the window, Tony found himself staring out over New York, his eyes scanning over the surrounding for a brief moment. It had been so long since he'd just stopped and stared over the city he had once loved so much. This had been his home. Now, all it brought back were painful memories, and as he glanced down at the small child in his arms, Tony couldn't help but be grateful that Peter wouldn't be growing up here.

Sighing at that thought, Tony found himself continuing to ramble, never raising his voice above a diffident whisper, so not to wake Peter. "You won't remember, today, I guess. That's probably a good thing. But you were so well behaved even with the storm. Your parents would be proud - I am proud, Buddy."

Peter cooed quietly rolling once more but making no indication that he was anywhere near conscious. Then again, Tony couldn't blame him. After today, all he wanted to do was sleep, and still, he quietly marvelled: "You really are fast asleep, aren't you?"

There was no response from Peter.

"Hmm, that's probably a good idea. Sleep, I mean." Tony mumbled, gently setting Peter down beneath the covers, ensuring that he was safe before darting away briefly to get ready for bed. 

As soon as he returned, Tony gently took Peter back into his arms, holding him close and never wanting to let go. He wanted to keep Peter safe forever. He never wanted Peter to endure any of the cruelty that he had faced from his father, and he was going to ensure that he never did. 

Sleep slowly began to take Tony into its warm embrace, easing him towards unconsciousness. It promised a dreamless night that Tony so craved. Just as it began to claim him, three soft words left his mouth, filling the room with a warmth that only the love of a parent could generate. At that moment, Peter clutched onto Tony even tighter as the billionaire closed his eyes and let himself fall unconscious as those three words filled his mind.

"I love you."


	4. Chapter 4

_‘Until you have a son of your own, you will never know the joy, _

_the love beyond feeling that resonates in the heart of a father as he looks upon his son.’_

_\- _ _Kent Nerburn_

1st August 2001

“Dada!”

The sound of Peter’s voice floated through Tony’s ears, pulling him out of his thoughts and away from his mindless tinkering with circuit boards. Turning to face his young son, who had been sleeping a few moments ago, Tony could help but smile. He could never hold back his smile for Peter. No one could. Peter could stop there world with his smile, and more importantly, for Tony at least, he could calm his racing mind.

“Hey, Buddy.” Tony grinned, walking over to Peter.

The little boy had grown a lot since Tony first adopted him. His brown curls were thicker and softer than they had been, as well as much longer. His flushed cheeks had calmed down, and his skin was mainly unblemished. His doe eyes were still large, bright and observant. There was little that he didn’t see. Especially now that he had started walking. 

Clapping his hands over and over, Peter, stumbled towards Tony, smiling up at his dad and yelling: “Hold.”

Bending down, Tony held his arms out for Peter to walk towards him, smiling at his young son, beckoning over to him: “Come here my little Spider-Monkey.” 

Peter’s smile widened, and he toddled over, folding his arms around Tony’s neck as soon as he reached the older man. Tony’s arms wrapped tightly around Peter. Bringing Peter closer to him, Tony hoisted him up, grinning happily and spinning around, careful to avoid crashing into anything. Laughter bubbled up from both of their chests, and while laughing, Tomy found himself marvelling: “You’re getting big now.”

Nodding happily, Peter clung tighter to Tony as he brought them to a stop and just cradled Peter against him. The little boy smiled contentedly muttering the two words that warmed Tony’s heart: “Luv Dada.”

“Love you too, Buddy,” Tony mumbled, pressing a kiss to Peter’s temple.

The little boy smiled up at Tony, his large doe eyes bright and full of love. He curled up closer to Tony, his tiny hands curled around Tony’s ACDC t-shirt and closed his eyes for a moment. Tony smiled down at Peter. He looked so small as he clung to Tony, and the older man couldn’t stop his heart from swelling several sizes.

“Sir, need I remind you that it is young Peter’s -” Jarvis’ voice shattered through the moment, bringing Tony out of his thoughts and prompting him to snap back at his AI.

“I know it is Pete’s birthday.” Tony turned his attention back to Peter and adding in a gentle tone: “And I’m going to spend the entire day with you, and so is Uncle Rhodey, Happy and Aunty Pep.”

Opening his eyes, Peter grinned up at Tony. The utter joy on his face couldn’t be disguised, and Tony found himself feeling infinitely lighter. His heavy heart felt light and free. There was nothing in the world that could make Tony feel any better. Only Peter could make him this happy.

“Happy!” Peter cheered, looking over Tony’s shoulder.

“I’m happy.” Tony nodded, not seeing what he son saw. He was too distracted by the sight of his little son to notice the sound of Happy entering the room.

Shaking his head at Tony, Peter pointed excitedly: “No, Happy!”

Turning sharply on his heel, Tony’s face lit up even more. All confusion faded from his features at the sight of Happy, still eternally grateful to Happy. Besides Happy had very quickly become Peter’s favourite uncle, and looked out for the little boy almost as much as Tony did. Grinning, Tony waved over at Happy: “Ahh, right, there is your Uncle Happy. Hi, Hap.”

“Hey, _Dada_.” Happy beamed, crossing the room.

Tony scrunched his face up, pretending to be angry, but nothing to hide the delight in his eyes at being recognised as the father of Peter. He didn’t even sound angry when he mumbled: “Oh shush, Happy.”

“Happy hold.” Peter waved his arms towards Happy, grasping for him and writhing around in Tony’s arms, desperate to hug Happy.

“Come here, Pete.” Happy mumbled, taking Peter from Tony’s arms and letting the toddler clamber over him until he found a comfortable spot.

For a long moment, Tony and Happy watched Peter. Their eyes glimmered, and they couldn’t hide the way that their smiles broadened infinitely. The little bundle of blue and bouncing brown curls had the power to melt their hearts. They wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

“Happy,” Peter mumbled contentedly, nestling into Happy’s shoulder.

Within a few moments, he had stilled, not entirely falling asleep, but choosing to watch over speak. He’d never been the most vocal of children, preferring to gift only those who meant something to him with the sound of his voice. Everyone else only earned shy smiles from behind the safe walls of Tony’s arms.

“I think you’re his favourite Uncle/Aunty,” Tony whispered, edging closer to Happy and letting Peter grab his hand in his soft grip.

Happy looked between father and son for a long moment, taking in the sight before him. He had seen it a million times before, but still, he found himself captivated. He couldn’t tear his eyes away. There was no other sight in the world that could fill his heart with this much joy, and he could scarcely believe that he was allowed to witness it. He loved them both, and in those few precious moments, they were just a typical family.

“There is no higher honour.”

…

The day flew by quickly.

One moment, Tony had been waking up with Peter crawling around his room and then the next, Pepper had arrived to give Peter his gift and then he was getting ready to take Peter to bed. The hours had disappeared. But the day hadn’t been wasted in any way. Both Pepper and Happy, as well as Tony to an extent, had been able to take a step back from their daily lives and they could breathe freely. All they had been able to sit back and, just for a few hours, they had been able to be with their family, no matter how odd it seemed to the outside.

Only one person had been missing.

All-day, Tony had listened out for a small sign that Rhodey was approaching. Despite promising to find a time to come over, he still hadn’t arrived. Tony couldn’t help but feel glum when he finally moved to take Peter upstairs to his room when both Happy, and Pepper had left. There was a flicker of pain in his gaze as he moved, cradling Peter to his body as he did.

Knock! Knock!

Stopping just before the stairs, Tony turned around slowly as Jarvis silently opened the door to reveal who was outside. The sight made Tony’s heart race. There was something about the view that harked back to years gone by, and he found himself smiling.

“Rhodey!”

Rhodey smiled back, exhausted, as Tony crossed the room over to his side, grinning at him as Peter stirred to see what the commotion was. Accepting Tony’s embrace, Rhodey found himself asking: “Are you sure that Peter is the child?”

“Rude,” Tony mumbled, but there was no malice in his tone. There was only fondness in his gaze at the sight of Rhodey standing there. 

“I can’t stay long, but I couldn’t miss today.” Rhodey confessed, quietly turning to the little boy and smiling: “Hey Pete.”

“Rwody,” Peter mumbled sleepy, holding his arms out for Rhodey. 

“Come here, Pete.” Rhodey reached out for Peter, taking him into his arms and holding him close. Despite all of Rhodey’s original misgivings about Tony adopting Peter, he couldn’t deny that his old friend had done the right thing in the end. Now, as he held the child close, he glanced back at Tony and mumbled: “Sorry, I couldn’t get here sooner. I know he has to go to bed soon.”

“At least you came.” Tony pointed out.

“There was no way I wouldn’t,” Rhodey whispered, rocking Pete gently, soothing the boy back into his sleepy state and after a few moments, Rhodey found himself sighing heavily. Glancing back at Tony, he mumbled: “I think he’s starting to fall asleep. And I should probably head back soon.”

“You can stay here tonight if you want?” Tony suggested, but he sounded unsure. It was more a question than a statement, and both of them knew that Rhodey couldn’t and wouldn’t stay. There was little point proposing the idea, but still Tony offered it.

“Tones, you know I can’t. I have to be there. Things are hectic.” Rhodey sighed, knowing full well that he was needed back at work as soon as possible. Guilt shone through his gaze, and he found himself adding quietly: “I should get going. I’m sorry.”

“Stay safe, Rhodey, please.”

“I will do.” 

Nodding at that, Tony smiled softly and gently took Peter from Rhodey, cradling his son in his arms. For a long moment, he and Rhodey stayed their staring at one another before Tony finally mumbled: “See you soon.”

“See you soon.” Rhodey nodded, smiling at them one last time before turning away. Both Tony and Peter watched on, their dark gazes following him until he disappeared into the night. Neither liked to see him go, but both knew that it wouldn’t be long until he returned.

Once the doors had shut behind Rhodey, Tony looked down at Peter, just in time to catch the young boy yawning and turning over in his arms. Exhaling quietly, Tony asked: “You okay there, Spider-Monkey?”

“Sweepy.” Peter murmured, closing his eyes and clutching Tony’s shirt. 

“I bet, come on, let’s get you to bed, Buddy,” Tony whispered, moving Peter closer to him and began to ascend the stairs. The sway of his body slowly began to rock Peter to sleep. 

The mansion was silent besides from the low hum of machinery that always filled the house. It was a gentle lullaby for both father and son. By now, even Tony was beginning to grow tired, and by the time he set Peter down in his bed, he too was yawning.

After Tony had put Peter to bed, he gently kissed his son’s forehead and rose up to head towards his room next door to Peter’s. His footfalls were soft and gentle, so not to disturb Peter. Yet, just as he neared the door, he glanced back to see that his son had rolled over. Just as he was about to turn away, Tony heard the soft, small, sleepy voice mumble three words that made his heart swell as he closed the door behind him.

“Luv you, Dada.”


	5. Chapter 5

_ ‘A father thinks about his children every day and night, _

_ even when they are not with him and _

_ will love them in a way that they could never understand.’ _

Six Years Later

Six years passed in the blink of an eye and at the same time took what felt like centuries to go by. The happiest moments and the most memorable seemed to fade in seconds. The harder moments: the arguments and the endless trips away took eternities to vanish. Time never stayed constant. Moments vanished but left Tony and Peter invariably changed for better and for worse. They valued the time that they had together and despised the moments when they were torn apart, but neither would change it for the world.

The world, however, had changed.

And so had they.

The past few years had both left Tony feeling younger and older all at once. Alcohol no longer made his every decision, but then again, being a father made his life revolve around worrying for Peter’s safety. He had taken a step back from Stark Industries to step up to the challenge of being a father, and Tony knew that it was the right choice for him. His priorities changed. Family was what mattered most now, and every time he was forced to leave home, he found his heart shattering, but every time he returned, his heart grew a little bigger.

All because of Peter.

The young boy was no longer the helpless, tiny baby that Tony had adopted, but was instead starting to grow and impress the world around him. Wise well beyond his years and too kind for his own good, there was scarcely a person who had met Peter, who hadn’t grown to love him. From his small bouncing brown curls to his bright doe eyes and wide smile, he was the image of his parents and of Tony in so many ways. And he was Tony’s son. In every single way possible, he was. From sneaking down to play in the lab with Dum-E to his love of cheeseburgers to his kind heart, he was Tony’s son, and the world knew it.

And yet, still, the world kept them apart for months at a time. This would have severed the bond between most parents and their children, but for the Starks, it had only served to strengthen it. Though, that didn’t mean that they didn’t hate being apart.

Just before Peter’s seventh birthday, that reality sunk in, once again. Tony had been given half a day’s notice to his most imminent trip, and neither of them had much time to prepare. Obadiah had made sure of it. In fact, he’d kept Tony busy long after he was due to put Peter to bed, expecting him to do menial jobs until midnight had passed. It was safe to say that by the time Tony returned, he was seething with anger.

But that soon dissipated.

The moment Tony poked his head around Peter’s door, all of his less than pleasant thoughts faded. He couldn’t stop the soft smile that graced his lips when he noticed two large brown eyes staring back at him. Sighing softly, Tony pushed the door open further and crossed the room, asking: “Pete? You still awake, my little Spider-Monkey?”

“Yes, Dad,” Peter mumbled, reaching out for Tony, who gently wrapped his arms around his son and held him tenderly. 

For a long moment, Tony just held Peter, allowing his young son to cling to him. In the darkness, they just sat there, their eyes closed and remained silent. Yet, in the quiet, Tony could just make out the sounds of Peter’s fearful, soft sobs. They broke his heart. There was nothing that could break Tony’s heart just as fast as the sound of Peter’s quiet cries, feeling Peter’s tears staining the starched shirt he wore.

“Oh, Pete, shush, it is okay. I’m here, Buddy. I’m here.” Tony whispered in the darkness, running his hand gently over Peter’s curls, hoping to soothe his son’s fear. 

Rocking Peter gently in his arms, Tony kissed Peter’s forehead and held him tightly. He never wanted to let go of the little boy in his arms and kept trying to calm Peter as the boy cried in his arms. There was little more he could do, and he hated that he couldn’t end Peter’s pain right there and then. Yet, as he kept rocking Peter, the tears began to stem until finally, he spoke up into the darkness.

“Do you have to go, Dad?”

Sighing heavily, Tony nodded quietly and whispered: “We both know I do. I wish I didn’t.”

He was right, they both knew it.

Staring up at his father, Peter asked in a shy voice: “Can you stay here for tonight, please, Dad?”

“Of course, Buddy,” Tony mumbled, pulling Peter closer to him and closing his eyes for a few moments before standing up, lifting Peter up with him as he did. Keeping the small boy cradled against him with one arm, and peeled back the covers, climbing in and settling Peter against his chest. Stroking his son’s hair gently, Tony whispered: “And I’ll be back for your birthday, I promise.”

“I know you will be.” Peter smiled, curling closer to his father, clinging to him like the spider-monkey that Tony often called him. He kept his eyes screwed shut and let Tony hold him tightly, pretending that when he opened his eyes that Tony wouldn’t have to leave. Both wished it wasn’t true.

Clearing his throat and trying to hold back any tremors in his voice, Tony quietly pointed out: “Besides, you get to spend time with your Aunty Pep and Uncle Happy.”

“I love spending time with them, especially Uncle Happy.” Peter nodded.

“I know.”

Silence followed for a few moments, twisting around them like a warm embrace until Peter finally asked: “Did I ever tell you that I used think you and Aunty Pep would end up together?”

“Oh, did you?” Tony asked quietly, his eyebrows rising, and his voice an octave higher than usual. There was a hint of amusement in his tone.

“Yeah, I did, and then I saw the way you looked at her and realised that although you love her, you don’t love her like that. She’s family but not your girlfriend.” Peter pointed out, pulling his father closer to him and resting his head beneath Tony’s chin, smiling fondly at the memory. He had since learned, mainly through observing his father, that the idea was definitely not going to happen.

“You’re too smart for your own good and for your age.” Tony chuckled, knowing full well that he’d been the same at Peter’s age.

“That’s because I’m a Stark.” Peter reminded him, smiling broadly before adding: “Besides, I knew it couldn’t be true because you stare at other men and women too much to be in love with Aunty Pep like that. I think if you were in love with her, you’d just have eyes for her.”

Tony’s eyes flew open and grew to the size of dinner plates before muttering: “Pete -”

“But that’s fine. I’d like a Mom or a Papa - I think that’s the correct French term at least. I prefer Spanish to be honest, but that might be because I’m better at Spanish.” Peter rambled, opening his eyes and tilting his head so that he could look up at the ceiling, utterly lost in thought.

“You’re doing amazing at both.” Tony’s voice brought Peter out of his thoughts and earned him a smile from his son that stretched from ear to ear. Kissing Peter’s forehead, Tony moved slightly to meet his son’s gaze and quietly stated: “And, I promise that if I ever meet anyone though, they have to get your seal of approval first.”

“Thank you, Dad.” Peter grinned, his mind running wild at the possibilities, but before he could be carried away by his ideas, he turned back to Tony. Looking at his father intently, Peter promised: “You’ll always be my Dad, though, no matter what.”

“No matter what because I love you 3000,” Tony whispered.

“Love you 3000, Dad.” Peter smiled, pulling Tony closer to him.

“I’m glad you do, Buddy.” Tony smiled before catching Peter stifling a yawn, “tired?”

“A bit.” Peter confessed, hiding his face as he mumbled: “Can you read to me, please?”

Chuckling to himself, Tony sat up best he could, his eyes had grown accustomed to the lack of light. Looking between Peter and the ceiling, he smiled: “Anything for my little Spider-Monkey. Jarvis, light levels 30%.”

“Yes, sir. I believe the third Harry Potter book is situated to your right on Peter’s bedside table.” Jarvis responded instantly, as a yellow glow began to fill the soft grey room. It glimmered around them, dancing off of the gleaming white furniture and began to change from yellow to green to blue and so on, just as Peter liked it.

“Thank you, J!” Peter grinned up at the ceiling.

“You’re welcome, Peter,” Jarvis replied, the hint of a smile in the disembodied voice. He always sounded happy when talking to Peter, no matter the circumstance.

“Thanks, Jarvis.” Tony echoed nodding up to the ceiling before moving to grab the book beside him and flicking to page 94 before starting to read aloud: “Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Chapter Seven - The Boggart In The Wardrobe…”

…

Morning came far too soon for both of the Starks. Sunlight began to flood through the large windows, disturbing them both from their peaceful slumber and reminding them there was a world outside that needed them to wake up. As Tony slowly began to sit up, Peter rolled over, further under the covers, burying himself under the thick layers and pulling Tony with him. Shaking his head at his son, Tony wrapped his arms tightly around Peter, removing him from underneath the covers, earning a sound of protest from his son.

“Pete, Buddy, I have to get up,” Tony mumbled, still blinking the sleep out of his eyes.

Shaking his head wildly, Peter continued to hide beneath the covers, his small hands still clenched around Tony’s shirt and mumbled: “Don’t want you to go.”

“I don’t want to go either, but I have to.” Tony pointed out, sitting up slowly, bringing Peter with him.

“Not fair,” Peter whined, yawning as he did.

“I know, Buddy, but I have to.” Tony sighed heavily, knowing full well that there was no way out of this mess. Running his hand over Peter’s messy curls, Tony promised: “I’ll be safe and home before you know it.”

“No, you won’t,” Peter grumbled.

“True, but I’m trying to be positive.” Tony shook his head, standing up slowly, detaching himself from Peter as he did before holding his hand out for his son and adding: “Come on, I’ll make you chocolate chip and blueberry pancakes before I go.”

Peter looked as if he wanted to argue, but there was nothing in the world, in his mind at least, that could rival the taste of Tony’s pancakes. Begrudgingly, he sat up, his curls sticking up at wild angles. His eyes were red with sleep, and he looked as if he could crawl back into bed and sleep for the rest of the year. Nodding his head slowly and rubbing his eyes and smiling sadly: “Alright.”

“Let’s get going, Spider-Monkey.” Tony lifted Peter up and began to carry him outside of the room. As he walked towards the staircase, Tony started to inform Peter: “Pep will meet you at the airport, she’s sorting some last-minute things out with your Uncle Rhodey.”

“Okay, thank you, Dad.” Peter nodded, snuggling closer to Tony as they descended downwards.

Silence filled their ears as Tony set Peter down and set to work preparing breakfast while both he and Peter began to accept the truth of their predicament and to slowly wake up. Every so often they’d look up and share a small soft smile. Soon the smells of pancakes and chocolate mixed with blueberries, filling both Peter and Tony with a sense of happiness that couldn’t be extinguished. The domesticity of the moment left both smiling and relaxing in themselves, breathing free for a few long moments.

The moment that Tony had finished plating up their breakfasts, Peter found himself grasping for his plate and cutting into the pancakes in earnest. A look of pure happiness and joy glimmered through Peter’s eyes and after swallowing the first mouthful of food, Peter grinned: “These are the best.”

“You’re too good to me, Buddy.” Tony beamed, sitting beside Peter and ruffling his hair before wrapping an arm around the boy, watching his son’s face light up with joy. That look made his heart shatter at the idea of having to leave while at the same time swelling at the look Peter gave him. Pulling his son closer, Tony mumbled: “Always too kind to me.”

Looking up at his dad with a soft smile, Peter moved closer to Tony and gently whispered: “That’s because I love you, Dad, I love you 3000.”

“Love you 3000, Buddy.”

And he meant it entirely.

There was nothing in the world that was going to stop or change that. But, the universe and fate were hardly kind mistresses, who scarcely ever allowed life to continue so easily. Sooner or later, there would be a test or trial, and although neither would admit it, they could sense that things weren’t quite right. Something was going to happen, they just didn’t know when or how that would unfold. All they could do was wait and see how everything would pan out when Tony got home.

If he got home, that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, two things, just before you stop reading, firstly, I did check the page number from my copy of Harry Potter in case it is different in your copies. Secondly, I went back to college on Wednesday (whoo! A-Levels), so I will probably be updating less frequently since I have mocks as soon as I go back and I have mocks in January. My actual A-Level exams in May/June. I will try and write as often as I can, but chances are that I won't be uploading say once a week, and for that, I apologise, but it is how things are, and I wanted to give you all the heads up. I'm also sorry that this took so long to write, I have had my chemistry mock and have my maths and physics mocks coming up, so I have been revising more than writing. Thank you all for reading this so far and for all the kudos and comments I have received. Hope you are all well and that you continue to enjoy the story.


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